A bear has been keeping deputies busy for the last few days out at Pyramid Lake.
Imagine that - a bear in the forest.
Over the weekend, the bear came down from the nearby hills long enough to cause a little havoc, then ran back to its den. Today, he invited himself to lunch with a park worker eating near what's known as "the boneyard" or storage area. Chased by the worker, he ran towards the entrance of the park, close to where people pay to park their cars and went up a tree for a better vantage point.
And there he stayed for the better part of the afternoon.
The cops lobbed a rubber ball at him, but he didn't want to play. Finally, he ambled down to a drainage ditch area, where he awaits another layer of human government, Fish and Game.
Let's see. Those guys have tranquilizer darts, nets and trucks. Oh yeah, and guns. Let's hope they only have to use the first three to remove this beautiful, natural creature from where he belongs.
I have a suggestion for solving the state's fiscal crisis. Give the parks back to the animals. We don't have to pay to maintain them and eventually, they would revert to their natural state.
We'd save millions. Maybe billions.
I'm sure he (or she, as the watch commander told me, "they didn't have any ID on them") would be quite comfortable living off the land again. There's fish in the lake and bugs and creatures that could be caught for a tasty snack. No pesky maintenance trucks rumbling by to interrupt sunbathing or afternoon naps.
I'm not quite sure about urban parks, like Hart Park, where buildings are the focal point, but the setting - chosen by Hart because of its Western look - is home to hawks, snakes, coyotes, bobcats and mountain lions.
They were there first.
Us humans, we think we're doing them a favor when we pick the cougar for our college mascot, then freak out every time they show up for a home game.
Or build water features in shopping centers and think that no waterfowl will notice. Remember, they soar overhead?
Note to developers: You got cheated when you paid for the environmental impact report if your "expert" forgot to include the part "MAY ATTRACT MIGRATORY BIRDS."
The old "Field of Dreams" concept kicks in here: If you build it, they will come, except for in Bridgeport, we got Canada geese instead of Shoeless Joe Jackson.
Geese #4, 8 and 26 go for a stroll to get frozen yogurt and bam! They get hit crossing the street.
How dare we let that happen?
This begs the question: which is the more intelligent species? Right now, it seems to be a draw. We build two big ol' lakes and the geese decide to walk instead of fly.
I hear there are women who are putting up signs (hint: geese can't read) to keep people away from the birds and "protect" them. PLEASE tell me someone lost a bet and this is a cruel practical joke they're playing on a friend and not a serious effort.
Right now, there are water features that make it easy for our visitors from the north to hop, skip and jump from pond to pond.
Water hazards at the country club have long been home to migratory birds - and one club member told me that currently, there are several goslings charming the golfers - and from there, they can stop at the pond near Black Angus, which is cattycorner to the Bridgeport lake, across the Killing Fields of Newhall Ranch Road from the Marketplace.
What this community needs is a little more common sense and a lot more respect for nature. Maybe we need to slow down, too.
After all, not one Canada goose has been plowed down by a driver rushing to get away from the links, unlike those that died in the name of a sale at Walgreens or Bristol Farms.