Editorial: The Extraordinary Parenting
BY ALEX URBINA / Host of KHTS' "Life Leadership" on Monday, 1-2 p.m.
Have you ever wondered how good of a parent you are? In today’s advanced world of technology and the many distractions you are faced with on a daily basis, it’s very easy to rest on your laurels as a parent and think that you are doing a pretty good job; until it’s too late.
What separates the average and ordinary parent from the extraordinary parent?
Average parents decide to have children and choose to raise them with the philosophy that “I will do the best I can.”
Extraordinary parents take full 100% responsibility for their children’s results and are constantly figuring out new ways to improve their parenting skills.
Average parents get mad and frustrated when their children are not doing what they are told or what they’ve been asked to do.
Extraordinary parents practice mastering the art of influencing their children to make the kinds of choices that will develop confidence and self assured leaders.
Average parents tell their kids what they want them to know, while extraordinary parents ask their children open-ended questions, leading them to discovering their own answers.
How much time do you think you really spend with your children on a daily basis?
Recently published research concludes that today’s U.S. married fathers spend an average of 6.5 hours a week with their children. Married mothers spent 12.9 hours a week and single mothers spent 11.8 hours.
Average parents spend time being around their kids while talking in their general direction.
Extraordinary parents spend time being with their kids, looking directly in their eyes, and asking the kinds of questions that will open up long meaningful conversations.
Average parents show their kids love by doing something for them, buying them something or giving them something special.
Extraordinary parents have developed an ability to be vulnerable enough to express their love for their kids with their emotions or an undeniable way of being.
How do children discover a great self -esteem and a strong sense of self?
Children when they are young go through a natural process of being curious; they want to figure out who they are. When children become teens they go through another natural process; they want to experience themselves as powerful, independent and capable individuals.
Average parents don’t understand this concept; extraordinary parents fully understand this process and are compassionate and patient with it, re-inventing their style of parenting to meet the need of their teenager.
Average parents point out their child’s mistakes while showing their frustration and disappointment.
Extraordinary parents see their children’s mistakes as a natural process of growth to develop the critical thinking skills that young adults are going to need, in order to navigate the unexpected challenges they will face in the 21st century to be successful in life.
The average parent plays a part in the arguments they are having with their children; the extraordinary parent doesn’t participate.
If you think there is something wrong with being an average and ordinary parent, there is not. Many children turn out to be amazingly loving, compassionate and confident adults in life from mom and dad doing the best they could.
You just have to ask yourself mom and dad, when you would stare into your child’s eyes when they were first born, did you not make a promise to them that you would strive to be the best parent to them as possible?
It’s never too late to re-commit to learning how to BE an extraordinary parent, you first must BE willing to do whatever it takes.
Watch Alex Urbina’s 2 Minute Tip Video- My teenage son wont listen to me anymore
Alex Urbina is one of the leading experts on Teen, Parent and Family Relationships. His vast experience in human potential and personal development has made him one of the premier Family Life Coaches in Personal Transformation and an international trainer.
Alex’s experiential Life Leadership Trainings are being implemented in various schools, youth organizations and Transformational Centers in the country, helping empower people to discover their personal power and realize their full potential.
Alex is a resident of the Santa Clarita Valley and has a weekly radio show called “ Life Leadership” brought to you by SCVi Charter School, on your Hometown Station AM1220 KHTS every Monday at 1pm, to continue to educate yourself on teen & family relationships.