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Understanding the needs that drive our behaviors may save some of us from becoming a cautionary tale if not a headline.
1. We all need to feel significant. We need appreciation, acknowledgement and respect for who and how we are, what we do or what we have. How do you feel when someone does not give you appreciation, acknowledgement or respect?
2. We all need certainty in our lives. We need to understand and be sure about things or people so we use routines and labels to make our lives more comfortable. But we also need some uncertainty, conflict, adventure and danger make life exciting. While the unknown scares most people, those who can be comfortable with high levels of uncertainty tend to be more successful but some people get out balance with the thrill of uncertainty and become dangerous.
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3. We all need love. It may not be all we need, but it makes tough times easier when we are certain about being loved. Remember this when someone is especially unkind and try to see them as wounded, possibly dangerous, but needing love just like all the rest of us. Remember a time when you did not feel love and someone gave it to you?
Try this: The next time a particularly irritating situation is escalating stop and genuinely say,
“Thank you, I love you” instead of the standard flip off. See what happens next.
4. We all need to grow, evolve or transcend whatever you want to call it; we need to better ourselves. While there is certainty in the past, getting stuck there, mentally and emotionally cuts us off from experiencing significance and love in the present. What actions are you taking today to open your heart, learn a new skill or improve on an existing talent?
5. We all need to contribute. Giving back, paying forward, charity, volunteering or tithing are all some form of sharing what you have with those that don’t have. When done anonymously instead of as a part of your public relations strategy, contribution creates an amazing feeling that can become addictive.
Try this: The next time you get flowers, admire them for a day and then bring them to an assisted living facility and ask at the front desk if there is someone who could use a friendly visit and some flowers.
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With a better understanding the needs that our drive behaviors, it is easier to satisfy the needs of those around you which in turn satisfy your needs.
Every day I am grateful for contributing to the growth of as many people as possible with understanding and acknowledgement of their significance with certainty and love.
Dr. Thomas Polucki is a Board Certified Doctor of Chiropractic certified in Functional Diagnostic Nutrition and Metabolic Typing. Find more information at www.doctorpolucki.com. Call 661-753-9340 to schedule a free phone consultation. Patients are seen by appointment only at 25050 Peachland Avenue, Suite 105, Newhall, California 91321.
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